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            我在原地-看著那世界流浪。

            來源:網絡整理  作者:admin  更新時間:2016-01-15

            我在原地-看著那世界流浪.

            文/FAN.李

            什么時候變得不安,和沒有歸屬感。然后還一味任性地埋怨,這不是我的錯,如此焦躁,和孩子氣的自己。忍不住的想放逐和流浪。蘇看著依舊蒼白的自己,像蒲草一樣飄來飄去。

            蘇第一次單獨遠行,是一個漫長的暑假,然后第一次見到他。蘇本來打算一個人從成都騎車去拉薩,騎了十來天,路過了西寧,西寧的小旅館有一面廣告墻,有一副漫畫吸引了蘇,是一個男孩夸張的頭像,下面寫了一行小字,包車電話,蘇想嘗試一下游客的感覺,就打過去,對方說純正的普通話,字正腔圓,可用他的嗓音說出來,有江南的溫潤與柔和,很是好聽,蘇和他約好時間。

            他開著一輛老掉牙的軍用吉普,人卻干凈的過分,白色的棉布襯衣落落無塵,微笑,淡定,從容,透明,遠遠望去,還有一點點離索群居的味道。蘇微微詫異,可不曾過問,心血來潮地砍價,包車一天從50砍到30。他沒睡醒似的點頭。蘇還記得那輛車子還保留著老式的卡帶機,他放著陳綺貞的旅行的意義,跟著一起吹口哨。這首歌,蘇后來聽了很多遍,都沒有他車上沙啞的卡帶好聽。

            他突然開始自言自語,蘇不奇怪,也不發問。在那張磁帶反復的循環中,聽他講流浪的故事。他比蘇大了5歲,大學沒讀完就跑出來了,從北京到內蒙古,新疆,西藏,甘肅,青海······

            西邊的空氣自由,他說。他到過新疆的塔城,那里有兵團的農場,大草原遼闊無邊。他說,人在邊疆感覺會不一樣,站在遙遠的邊境線上,風景其實很單調,有時候,出奇的安靜,安靜得像世界的末日,讓人覺得渺小,有時候,有很大的風,從邊境線上吹過來,走在風吹過來的方向,又覺得自己總算沒白來世上一遭。不知為何,蘇覺得他有些憂傷。他從不會在一個地方停留太久,也許是一場戀愛的時間,厭倦了,也就走了。

            蘇問他吃啥喝啥,他說,沒錢了,打點小工掙點錢,總能活著。一個月錢,他一人一車流浪在西寧,錢花光了,一個哥們收留了他,他叫那人叫嘮叨,是西寧人。嘮叨雖然話多,但人仗義,幫他拉點散活賺錢。那晚蘇和他們去文化街吃干拌面,像熟人一樣。蘇告訴他,過幾天就騎車去拉薩了。他隨口說,他也去。

            那兩天,他借了輛自行車,帶蘇去轉西寧城,南山,北山,回民街,水井巷,有一次沿著湟水河向西騎,一直騎到人煙稀少的村落。蘇尤其喜歡沿著河流騎行的感覺,說不清楚為什么,蘇水有著格外的感情。蘇問他,這是西寧最長的河嗎?他說,不僅最長,還是整個西寧和青海的命脈。也許是魂,蘇說,他說,下次帶你往西邊走,那里有一個峽谷,蘇一定會喜歡。

            蘇沒有想到,他真的和自己一起出發,更讓人不解的是,他一聲召喚,嘮叨也跟著去了。臨走前一晚,蘇去嘮叨家幫他們收拾東西,一個挺漂亮的女孩在門口等他,哭哭啼啼地不肯走。他一副不在乎的模樣,像個局外人。是嘮叨不停地勸,把女孩勸走了。她轉身的時候,敵意地看了蘇幾眼。

            蘇問他,你女朋友嗎?他說,家里人安排的。

            七月的一個中午,蘇他們三人從西寧出發,騎車去拉薩。一路上三人成了患難之交。蘇也終于明白,他為什么如此熱愛路上。路上的他,是發光的,如此自由,浪漫和,有靈魂。在他的自行車前面的車把上有一個他自己編的稻草人,他還給它起了一個名字,叫阿睿。他瘋狂地踩著腳踏板,對著阿睿大聲的歌唱。

            他非常的善變。有一次走錯了路,多騎了十幾公里,在掉頭的時候,他說,你們倆走吧,我就按著錯的走。他帶著懶散的表情,很欠揍的樣子。但不知為何,每個人都被他吸引。蘇猜不透他再次改變主意,愿意掉頭和蘇他們一起走的原因,一直貓掉進河里去了,他跳進水里把貓救起來,上岸后就忘了自己要獨行。

            青藏線上的國道上時常能碰到騎車去拉薩的年輕人,蘇他們原先三人的隊伍變成七個人。這些人后來都變成了莫逆之交,有事兒就言語,沒事兒不聯系。

            蘇后來去了北京上學,有一天蘇接到他的電話,說他回北京了,然后約在咖啡館。面對面坐著,蘇覺得有點荒唐。他告訴蘇,他剛從藏區回來,那邊正在下雪呢。大廈外面的三環路堵成了停車場,人人焦躁不安,人人帶著面具。蘇聽著那些遙遠的故事,心想,在城市的文明里,兩顆心貼不到一起去。

            蘇說出去走走吧,兩人馬路牙子上坐著,吸引了不少人的眼光,蘇索性把手機關機,這時候感覺才回來,他突然告訴蘇,他奶奶死了。那是蘇第一次見他哭,像個孩子。

            蘇問他,還走嗎?他閉上眼睛,沒搭理蘇。蘇想起西寧的夏天,一樣的柳樹,不一樣的風。

            奶奶葬禮結束后,他又出發了,臨走的前一天晚上找蘇,他們聊了一夜。蘇想起從拉薩回西寧的那晚,蘇他們幾個在餐廳吃飯。他去洗手間,鄰桌的幾個混混跟蘇逗貧。他讓蘇先走。蘇剛出門,他就抄起桌上的酒瓶拍人家。他打起架來不要命。直到警察來了他還沒有停下,滿身是血,帶著逼人的英氣。

            蘇問他,怎樣看她這個朋友,他開玩笑說,怕飛的太遠了,忘記自己在哪兒,所以就需要一個坐標。蘇笑了,其實他也是蘇的坐標,蘇守在無聊的現實里,讓他替自己流浪。第二天蘇去學校,他睡在客廳的沙發上。等蘇回來的時候,他已經不見了。留下一張漫畫,一個妹妹的小女孩,腳踩小馬蹄,正在吃一片棉花糖。

            蘇也不是沒有見他真心愛過。有一年的冬夜,有人砰砰敲蘇的門,他站在門外,胡子拉碴,蘇詫異地發現,他不在是初見面的那個面容蒼白眼神明亮的少年了,雖然,他還有蘇,依然年輕。蘇還是什么都沒說,進廚房先下兩包方便面,打兩個雞蛋,。他也什么都沒說,埋頭吃完,在這個世界上,一個人愿意把他最難看的樣子給你看,你唯有心存感激。蘇看著他醉的不省人事的樣子,然后像哥們一樣照顧他。蘇什么也沒有問,聽他迷糊著嘟囔,真的走累了,要停下來了。可是蘇,還有誰,會替我們流浪。

            一瞬間,蘇突然就想要流淚。

            再次接到他的電話,是在夏天,他說,嘮叨要結婚了,去西寧吧。當年一起去西藏的朋友全到齊了。幾年未見,這些當初發誓一輩子在路上的人,大多數都停了下來,沒什么新鮮的,都是停在一個累的地方。那天,所有人除了蘇,都喝的酩酊大醉。

            他們陸續回去了,蘇請了假,想多呆幾天,蘇問他下一站去哪?他苦笑著,蘇,其實我也妥協了。

            從西寧出發,沿著湟水泱泱,奇峰延綿。水鳥流連。這就是他所說的峽谷。

            他將手里的煙頭彈向遠方,站起來說,游泳去吧。蘇說她沒有帶泳衣。他做了一個切的表情,跳進了水里。像一條魚一樣,他游到蘇的面前,手抓住她的腳踝,蘇就防不勝防地落入水中。蘇聽見他大笑,一瞬間就沒了脾氣。等到了傍晚的時候,一切變得安靜。蘇看他在夕陽下平靜的面孔,淚流滿面。

            幾年又過去了,蘇的生活變得平靜,他也再沒有聯系過蘇,但蘇知道,他過得很好,滿大街的報紙上都是他的名字,蘇笑笑,沒什么想法。

            蘇混的不錯,卻總覺得缺少了點什么。或許,生活是一灘百般無聊的河水,蘇并沒有把他游成江湖。

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